Hairing of the dog

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Twas a blessed evening of sympathetic and charming company. The laughter mingled with the aroma of fine foods and gently fragranced and plentiful wine. So all in all it was a great piss up and we all got hammered. Some got chucked out for smoking in a public bar and many got their bags, coats and in my case a phone nicked. Got slightly accosted by some drunk stag doers but they let me go as soon as they saw me properly. Danced to som 80's music and fell asleep in the cab. Best 30th party I've ever been to and hope to do it again soon. Had the wise thought of taking a disposable camera with me and very pleased I did too else my lovely Fujifilm could have gone walkies too. Having a glass of wine right now despite the hangover - I know there's something in that hairing of the dog business.......

Zits, lumpy bits & saggy tits

Right on cue - I'm getting a spot right in the middle of my forehead. Perfect! It ought to go quite well with my new dress for the party. I swear this body is out to get me - it did it before my friends wedding, it did it on valentines night, nice red beacons...no wonder I'm single. My own body betraying me. It just used to be my mother betraying me when she would always give me garlic kiev or smoked haddock before a night out. It took me years to cotton on why the boys stayed away from miss halitosis over there. Well I should be quite a catch on Saturday; zits, lumpy bits and saggy tits. Not going to get pissed to compensate though, no way not me.. Going to be good so I can carry Chloe home since I owe her a few of those anyway.

No hunky rescue crews

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A lady collapsed at work today and I have to say we (me and 2 colleagues) were very calm and competent. Called an ambulance, did recovery position, checked pulse, kept everyone calm. I couldn't help but feel a little excited when I saw the blue light approaching (despite my concern for the old bird of course) wondering what delights might alight. I am such a cow, even in an almost dire (teeny dire) situation and I'm trying to check out the tottie. Needn't have worried as they were nottie tottie but very sweet and also competent at their work and prompt, always a good thing. So my little day dream of biting botties of hot rescue totties diappeared with the not hottie totties as fast as they had arrived - and they were fast.
Meanwhile it turns out that someone that was getting a bite was that bloody cat again! Came home to bird feathers in the kitchen, but no corpse I'm pleased to say.
Continuing with this essay as fast as I can, in between phone calls from Chloe about her 30th this Saturday. Any hottie totties coming Chloe?
Imagine Josh in uniform, any uniform other than Dharma rags....

A bird in the kitchen is worth - 2 hours work....

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The cat has been driving me mad for 2 weeks - I was beginning to think he had a stomach ulcer because everything I put in front of him , he just turns his nose up at. Despite several brand changes and a small fortune later he is still tripping me up and charging towards his bowl whenevr I approach the kitchen. Today I had to press on with this essay which is due in next week so locked the little bugger in the kitchen shortly after I'd cleaned it and his bowls. After 3 hours and only 400 words later and a sore spasmy back I hear a crash from the kitchen. He's brought a plump young looking blackbird in which is sitting looking quite disturbed and pooping all over the windowsill. So cat gets locked away again (stupid cat) this time in the bathroom while I try to herd the bird out of the back door - only it's not that easy - it can still fly but he must of hurt it because it doesn't want to, it just kept going back and forward across the sill while I try to explain if it just moves 2 foot to the left it would see the open doorway waiting for it. They reckon that birds are much more intelligent than they originally thought due to folds in the cerebral cortex - not this one! 2 hours later it flys away and leaves me with poop and feathers to hoover and hard to reach surfaces to wash. The title of the essay is ; nervous sytems, function and survival. I'm going to write that birds are stupid and have no concept of glass - just because there is light coming through it, it doesn't mean it's an exit.

Sinking Sunday Feeling

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It's that time again - when you have to get the kids off to bed and face the mountain of ironing that needs doing before tomorrow morning and the usually late start as you forget to re-set the alarm to a working day wake up call. I usually save the chocolate treat for Sunday night with the obligatory DVD just to get through it but i forgot both today as we spent all day going from one place to the next - swimming then posh pub for mothers day dinner and only one glass of wine, walk, play park and home. Reflecting on the debortuary of the weekend including the cost and the fact that I am a binge drinker and general drunken nuisance at times.