Zits, lumpy bits & saggy tits

Right on cue - I'm getting a spot right in the middle of my forehead. Perfect! It ought to go quite well with my new dress for the party. I swear this body is out to get me - it did it before my friends wedding, it did it on valentines night, nice red beacons...no wonder I'm single. My own body betraying me. It just used to be my mother betraying me when she would always give me garlic kiev or smoked haddock before a night out. It took me years to cotton on why the boys stayed away from miss halitosis over there. Well I should be quite a catch on Saturday; zits, lumpy bits and saggy tits. Not going to get pissed to compensate though, no way not me.. Going to be good so I can carry Chloe home since I owe her a few of those anyway.